Fortunately, the Milk by Neil Gaiman (2013) HarperCollins

In which a man goes to the store to get milk for his children’s breakfast and is kidnapped by aliens, then space pirates, then rescued by a stegosaurus in a time-machine balloon.  He endangers and saves people ready to sacrifice to a volcano god, gets attacked again by the aliens, saves the day by opening a window and taking the bottle of milk from his own hands a few minutes ago, then threatens to end the universe (or having three little people with flowerpots on their heads dance), by touching the two bottles of milk together.  The space police come, and they’re all dinosaurs, the milk bottle touch, the three people with flowerpots on their head appear, dance, and disappear.  He reopens the window into the past and tosses a bottle of milk to himself.  Of course, his children do not believe a word.  But fortunately, the milk is on the table.